Social Perception

It's fascinating how the thought that we're being observed, or that there are others present, can have such profound effects on our behaviour. Walking into a wall isn't quite as embarrassing if there isn't anybody around to watch your silly act. The best dancers and singers might just reside among those who think they're alone.

People whose social perceptions are impaired, such as autistics as one example, are probably the most themselves.

Perhaps that's what makes us more human-like. If we always behaved without regard for others, we wouldn't experience the full spectrum of emotions that we have been designed to feel as social beings. Compassion, guilt, empathy, embarrassment, shame, happiness, anger - these are not fully expressed if we're by ourselves. Of course, there are feelings that occur when we're lonely, but even then, those feelings prompt us towards finding others for their companionship in order to remove the aversive feelings of sadness and loneliness.

Religions probably tap into this humanity as well. The idea that there is a God, or gods, watching over us, instilled from a young age, can keep us from losing our sense of humanness. The mere sight of a camera, mirror, or fake eyes in a room that you're alone in can make you self-conscious and watch yourself.

My Job Sucks Because

A job only ever sucks because of people. I don't think you can genuinely hate a job enough because it's stupid or too glamourous or whatever lame reason anyone can think of, because there are always trade offs. You get a fun job, you get paid less. You get a high-paying job, you better slog it out to get there and/or stay there. Jobs generally even out in terms of pros and cons.

It might seem like I'm just pulling out another one of the things from my people-loathing repertoire, but I really think that if anything ever tips the balance about how bad a job can be, it's the people.

No one can make a job you're doing suck more than the people you have to work with to get your work done (I'm talking about bosses and colleagues, not customers here. Customers are part of the work, and as I will explain later, are to be bravely dealt with). And nothing can make you feel like your job is crappy as much as people around you can. We're all wired to count our blessings or we're all doomed to depression, so we're very well capable of deluding ourselves that our jobs are perfect. So what gives? People around telling you your job is shit or making your job shit, that's what.

So, as I was telling a colleague of mine, if you're quitting your job because of the people, or because of one boss who can't wipe his ass cleanly enough so you'll have to help him too, it's not a spoilt or prissy thing to do. To quit a job because of the work might very well be ungrounded, floaty and wussy because it means you can't take the work you've set out to do, and if the work didn't turn out the way you wanted it to, why wasn't a more informed decision made before you decided to do take it up? That's the gay part of quitting. But leaving because you can't put up with stupid people - now that's more like it.




Oh, you hate your job? There's a support group for that. It's called EVERYBODY, and they meet at the bar.
- Drew Carey

Doused In A Cacophony Of

I was walking home from the MRT station today at about midnight and zoning out to music as usual when, at the quieter area around Serangoon Ave 4, I suddenly realised that there were two Indian construction workers lying on the pavement I'm walking on a few metres ahead of me, probably trying to get some sleep.

As with how thinking goes, we are often more aware of the result of our thought processes than the thought processes themselves. A barely noticeable flurry of thoughts came and went and at that moment, all I could be bothered to be aware of was that I felt a very profound sadness about the whole situation.



I was reading stuff when I just suddenly thought about how terrifyingly influential the things we leave around the house can be especially to our other family members. Pills, knives, dollar bills and watches, to name a few. The innuendoes people associate with things we drop in insiduous, subconscious but visible corners can overlap with the angst and fears amongst other bad emotions they have from their day to day lives, and become a sickening constant reinforcement of how they eventually perceive the world to work, even without knowing it.



Anyway, I also just considered and entertained the possibility that I might be someone who prefers it that people do not change. It's not that I feel threatened by the unpredictability of people that I know and much less the longing for specific moments in time (especially the good ones) to remain as they are, but rather more of in a dynamic sense - that people have their roles and characters to play within the social framework that makes up my life as a stage and I'm fond of that. I guess in particular I treasure uniqueness and personalities, even if they're bad ones.

One aspect of this is happening with increasing salience as people grow from kids into adults. Before university, everyone had a personality that was more or less concrete in a reckless manner, especially because JCs and secondary schools provided the comfort of cliques we thought would last forever and we were accepted as who we were that way. Once broken up and individuated into a more 'serious' place, as declared by society, like university - the precursor to being completely accountable for everything we do - we hide our past because we do not know everyone, while functioning according to the new norms of adulthood which we can only learn along the way. And everyone assumes that we won't be understood if we continue behaving with the quirky and idiosyncratic personalities we had back then. Not wanting to make mistakes and to make things as smooth sailing as possible, who we once were gets compromised. The final sparks of childhood are fading away.

Childhood quirks aside, principles and values in people and the opinions that they have that make up their personalities and character can change too, and that is another aspect I'd prefer to remain the same if possible. I have no idea if it's just me, and even then with adequate thought I've concluded that it's merely a preference.



The exams are FINALLY here. Space between now and the papers always breeds a certain degree of denial which can be a bother to put down. Now life is beginning to have a degree of certainty.




Love may be blind but marriage is a real eye-opener.

Audio Candy:
Alexisonfire - Rough Hands

In fact, I think humans are a bloody interesting species worth analysing for a laugh, or proof that idiocy and insanity does exist in the universe, if I were another greater being in another galaxy. Everyday, nature supposedly determines what happens on Earth and every species out there has some kinda personal instinctive agenda to complete the cycle that goes on everyday. Put homo sapiens in the picture and you fuck the whole system up.

Just consider this. Why do we always have things to do, to say, to talk about? If everybody wasn't so uptight about something or intent on achieving some selfish personal purpose, things would probably carry on as usual, we'd just worry about the offspring and finding food to eat and survive, and life would be nice, easy and dandy. Haha. Just think about the days back in school. Someone would become a third party in someone else's relationship and cause a crapload of issues to happen, inciting juicy gossip among others. Some retard would do something like bringing porn to school and get himself expelled, making the rest of the schoolboys think their school is damn paikia and cool and proclaim about it. Out in the media scene, celebrities would be harrassed by the paparazzi. Stupid boybands would make their rounds around the globe and crazy fans would go to the ends of the Earth to get a chance to see their idols. It's a totally chaotic effect to the order of things sometimes, but that really makes life so full of, admittedly interesting, shit. Plus, they give you a chance to laugh at something so it isn't so bad I guess.

Anyway. I've another thought. Sometimes it just seems that at any one point in time, there's bound to be a nice mix of all kinds of people you'd meet in life. No matter where you are, there'd be the typical nerd, the athletic guy, the bossy girl, the demure angel, the adonis, the loud-mouthed bitch. When there are couples there'd be the sassy ones, the quirky ones, the sweet ones, the high-end ones. It's like, there's this higher order somewhere which determines who turns out to be like what, and as a result ensures that there's enough of every personality to go by. This kinda makes me think of astrology and stuff.

And I think fate's an excuse for free-will, and free-will's an excuse for fate. Like for example when your fate messes up we can all blame your free-will because you chose to go against your fate and all that shit. And think vice versa and this'll make a little more sense.