Capitalism Vs Family

As we 'modernize' more and more, I think we're coming closer to defining the family more so in terms of its technical, biological function rather than an integrated social unit where children are raised, values are inculcated, and parents, siblings and relatives love one another.

I put 'modernize' in inverted commas because I'm only using 'modernize' in terms of what is commonly accepted nowadays as positive development and progression. It says nothing about whether we are better off now than in the past, when we were not so 'modern'.

It is important to note that modernization is implicitly linked with economic development, which is the result of the adoption of capitalism at either high or moderate levels. Contemporary theories regard being economically developed and GDP-rich as modernized.

As a result of modernization in this sense, the traditional functions of the family are outsourced to various institutions external to the family. Education is served by schools, employment is served by corporations, community is served by social groups, welfare is served by the government and justice is served by the law.

The human connection that came about as relatives interacted within the traditional family system to help each other satisfy these needs get compromised, as institutions take over important roles that people once held in the traditional family system. It is really not surprising why people feel alienated and dissatisfied in modern times, because we are social creatures. Institutions may be more specialized and efficient, but at the end of the day nothing can substitute for the joy and deep human connection from interacting with another person. We evolved to be that way for thousands of years.

Additionally, externalizing the duties of the family to institutions simply makes the family more dysfunctional as a purposeful social unit.

Next, the great emphasis on money, especially money maximization in our modern liberal/capitalist context, strongly undermined the importance of the woman's role in the family. I actually don't think that feminists would be so worked up about how discontented they are about being 'relegated' to domestic roles if these domestic roles were regarded as respectable. Money-making has become such a preoccupation that domestic jobs are considered for the 'lesser' of the sexes to carry out. In fact, in Singapore where females have relatively favourable access to employment and salary, women have increasingly abandoned the role of being domestic wives, juggling wage-earning and child-bearing at the same time. When it comes to the crunch of choosing between these two responsibilities, women are even increasingly prioritizing wage-earning. So, we get the extremely low birth rate of Singapore.

As families increasingly lose their traditions to a liberal system that sees human connection as unimportant and inefficient, to the point where traditions are completely obsolete, can we really still call that a family?

I passed my driving test and I'm fucking happy. Period! No more instructor to contend with, no more money wasting, no more dragging my feet down to the driving centre because it's turned into a bloody sian routine where I spend 2hrs of my day to make myself feel turdy the rest of it, and now I can drive the way I want to, within safety limits of course. :)

That's a happy, sweet, sweet valentine's for me. And of course I dedicate it very much to Kee!! (Also cos I hadn't done much for valentines' day for her.. *sheepish)

The big annual reminder of what your relatives look like is here again and while some are genuinely looking forward to the festive reunions of Chinese New Year and others judging their visits by means of RP$ (ang pao currency, i.e. uncle X loses his visiting value after you have received red packet from said uncle), I'm not that excited about it at all and things really went by without a cinch, my family being done with the main body of visiting by 3pm today. Of which I'm pretty glad.

I treat the total sum of my red packets (which, at less than $100, isn't much anyway but I'm not saying that I'm complaining) as an annual bonus that would otherwise have come from my dad anyway; apologies for not being any more interesting about the whole joy of red packet receiving and I'm just gonna boringly deposit the cash into my bank after the 15th day (I'll stick to some degree of tradition about this one, albeit still in a modern context lol). I'd already done away with the festive shopping a month or so ago and that's that.

Doing this meet up of relatives once and for all for the rest of the year does have its silly, pointless joys no doubt, when you talk to uncles, aunties and the more approachable cousins and smart-aleck your way around inconsequential conversations and some of them, especially the uncles and aunties, really give you the look that says, "wow he's really grown up since that little cockster I'd known a decade ago." Because most of them have the impression stuck in their heads anyway that you were only 10 years old just every other 'last year'. Some people also ask why I don't wear spectacles anymore, when they've been asking the same question for the past 4 years.

And every year, it's almost ritualistic that they'll ask Kenny and I to stand side by side to compare heights. And I should prep this list of calling names to revise before meeting up because I can never remember all the ranks of my uncles and aunties and who's who.

Meeting Kee's family up was fun, though I'm still pretty hampered by the language factor between her folks and I but it's okay. It's interesting when your girlfriend's dad is a reknowned chinese artist who's met the likes of the government (I can't remember, president? Or prime minister or some people like that), the Singaporean UN ambassador and others and has his work featured regularly in newspapers and books. And his cooking's really zai.

Kee's sis has a new boyfriend too; name's Douglas and we had drinks and conversation going so it was quite a good meet up.

I'd like to visit friends though. In all honesty, that really holds more meaning to me than the relatives-visiting despite the whole obligatory concept of oh-you-have-to-do-this-cos-you-are-family-and-you-have-to-respect-some-people-and-the-new-year-tradition. I'm sure I might be labelled as a little unfilial or unfeeling towards those of close kin to me, or something along that line to a certain degree by some people but I'm just being frank.

A man gazing at the stars is at the mercy of every puddle on the road.- James!

Today's Listenables:
Hinder - Lips Of An Angel