My family had our Chinese New Year reunion dinner a whole week earlier because of crowd aversion. Also, we are well aware of the skyrocketed prices and potentially poor service during the maddening frenzy of CNY's eve, so everyone was in agreement to celebrate in advance.
One of the lingering conversation topics circled around university graduation. Whenever I reply to some aunt or uncle that I have a year left to go when asked of my graduation, I'm 'consoled' with something along the lines of "oh, aiya one year to go only, just hang in there lah, soon you'll finally be done with studying and then you'll be able to find a job and start work. Besides, the economy is picking up so it's good."
I am grateful for their good intentions because I believe that they truly mean well for me. But it is interesting how reflective this is of my family's socioeconomic background and class, and even further, how our particular socioeconomic background and class is especially embedded in very Singaporean attitudes.
For one, to my largely middle class family, education is a good to have, but work and money still walks the talk at the end of the day. The fees of tertiary education is something to be grappled with, sometimes even toeing the limits of tolerance. Now that I've even had a university education, it's time to cash in on the 'luck' of being endowed with some-whatever degree. Even more implicit is the idea that tertiary education is a bonus, because I'm not expected to enjoy my time studying. The common consensus is - who on earth likes to study this stuff anyway? The four years in university is most importantly a means to another end, not an end in itself.
This is corroborated by my other same-age cousins who talk about university in modest (or even deprecative) fashion, and can't wait to get it done with to embark on the real world out there, with the very honest intention of finally being able to prove one's worth (which has nothing to do with being academically inclined), support the family and repay what one has owed to the folks for so long.
In particular, I can sense the pride one of my uncles has, because his son and daughter have both finally graduated and are earning their own keep, even if their jobs aren't particularly very high-flying or promising in terms of wages or advancement.
I think this is a strongly Singaporean attitude because most of it can be found in our booming middle class. This seems like a circular argument where the issue often ends up being chicken-egg - did the booming middle class lead to Singaporean attitudes or vice versa - but whatever it is, education in our meritocratic society is regarded largely in very pragmatic terms by most of us. The middle class/the most Singaporean of the lot doesn't study to further causes, knowledge or ideas, he does so to ensure a 'decent' job, to keep himself safely away from the bottom of the competitve heap, and to avoid unnecessary troubles in life. This is, of course, a generalization. People do care sometimes if their jobs are prestigious, especially as one rises in social class. But once more, what the education was isn't quite the real deal ultimately.
With this in mind, I never let them in on my desire to further my education, because I can imagine the gasps of horror when this fella here states his psychotic intention of adding four more years of studying after finally graduating. What on earth could I possibly be thinking? Who in his right mind would want to repeat that school nonsense all over again? Explanation would be futile because no one would understand, and they'd gleefully team up to beat me into pulp and wake me up to my senses.
Hopefully the reality of the path I've chosen can speak for itself in a year's time. It does make me feel sheepish or guilty somewhat at times when I look at my aspirations in relation to others. But in the end, I do know what I really want at the end of the tunnel.
Showing posts with label Chinese New Year. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Chinese New Year. Show all posts
Sunday, 7 February 2010
Wednesday, 13 February 2008
Feelin' Da Heat
I'll be having my economics and political science midterms next tuesday, as well as my Creative Thinking presentation next monday. In the preceding days, thursday, friday and monday will be fully packed with things to do so that effectively leaves me with 3 days to prep everything and muggg (if I can finally get down to it I guess). So this is some really serious crunch time.
On the upside, once CT is over on monday it'll be over and done with for good. As for economics and political science, well its just the midterms I suppose, and that can't be as bad as revising for a full term's worth of syllabus.
I'll also be getting my laptop back finally. And so Euodia says, "you're so positive." I'd like to think so, because why not? I could choose to whine and gripe about things (siala 2 subjects for midterms but both on same day!) but it's not like that's gonna change anything. :]
The Chinese New Year celebration at Yinyin's hostel went well in a somewhat random and haphazard fashion, proving the adage that it doesn't matter what you do as long as you've got great company. Other than the yusheng with gummies, at other times we were just doing really crappy stuff without anything planned and even ended up pouring a whole pail of water down 2 storeys.
It was nice to see a real foosball tournament materialise. Haha I sucked and Rachel rocked. Here's the standings:
On the upside, once CT is over on monday it'll be over and done with for good. As for economics and political science, well its just the midterms I suppose, and that can't be as bad as revising for a full term's worth of syllabus.
I'll also be getting my laptop back finally. And so Euodia says, "you're so positive." I'd like to think so, because why not? I could choose to whine and gripe about things (siala 2 subjects for midterms but both on same day!) but it's not like that's gonna change anything. :]
The Chinese New Year celebration at Yinyin's hostel went well in a somewhat random and haphazard fashion, proving the adage that it doesn't matter what you do as long as you've got great company. Other than the yusheng with gummies, at other times we were just doing really crappy stuff without anything planned and even ended up pouring a whole pail of water down 2 storeys.
It was nice to see a real foosball tournament materialise. Haha I sucked and Rachel rocked. Here's the standings:
It's been a long week (I'm not kidding though it's only tuesday) and I was grateful for a chance to indulge in pure abandon (okay I'm exaggerating I guess but it's comparative) by heading down to Coffee Bean and chill out over really typical boy-girl discussions that will never die out.
Here's to having enough hours of sleep as I can finally wake up late tomorrow. It's been seriously days since I've slept adequately.
Only in America can a homeless combat veteran live in a cardboard box whilst a draft dodger lives in the White House.
Today's Listenables:
By The Wayside - Long Time Waiting
Saturday, 9 February 2008
Day 2
After watching I Do, I Do yesterday, it reaffirms my stand that Adrian Pang really is God's gift to Singapore TV.
And in Yitwen's words, the world came to a standstill. During CNY, bus services slow down and nothing's open which really sucks.
I traveled down to Justin's (the SMU guy) place today for a visit, and along the way past memory lane as he stays at Sennett Lane, East Coast Hill. A significant part of my childhood revolved around Stangee and Katong area and a horde of recollections flooded my memory which would've stayed forgotten in the deep recesses of my mind otherwise, as each passing coffeeshop along the road triggered nostalgic experiences one by one. I recall the run-down kopitiam where we used to have reunion dinners, which was actually already very luxurious when I was just a kid, and all of us little kids would run off to the nearby 7-11 (which, I presume, is gone because I couldn't spot it) to get self-service assorted candy in the plastic bag, and the other provision shop to get Tora Tora, that thing with the surprise toy inside.
There were other steel and concrete reminders as well, but they're only as fascinating as they matter to me on a personal level, so I guess I shall stop short of rattling on about it.
I must honestly say that my visit to Justin's was the visit I enjoyed the most thus far, even though I didn't do much there. If visiting is all about socialising and socialising is all about having a good time talking to people about things that matter or even make sense to begin with, then every relative's house visit has paled extremely in comparison to this. Beer, cards and guys who can share a wisecrack or two don't hurt either.
There was a 91.3FM deejay named Audrey at our table too and I thought she was quite interesting.
Left after an hour and went back to school to get my books home because the readings overdue were piling up to 150-odd pages, excluding political science. So yeah alarm bells are ringing there and tomorrow's the weekend already.
Today involved a lot of long bus rides and I really think these long bus rides are a huge medium for pensive energy. If I were to put a notepad and pen in every chair and anyone who had a decent thought - some inspiration, an emo moment, thoughtful reflection - was to write it down, I cannot imagine what we'd come up with. One day, I would just like to dedicate an entire day to traveling to nowhere on buses - board a bus I've never boarded before, drop at a place I've never been to, take the next bus that comes along - and after many next buses that come along see where I end up. I'd do this not least because it also reflects how carefree I am if I can dedicate so much time to such an act of frivolity.
I like it when my mind starts running off on its own and a whole train of thought develops itself without any conscious effort on my part to do so, and then I'll 'snap back' and see where the thought chain ends up. This peaked during the time between ORD and the starting of school around the most part of early last year, and I've found it increasingly hard to engage this nowadays, perhaps because studying in school can constrain thinking.
Had supper and more beer til 3am. This is what I'd call an enjoyable CNY day. 心想事成 to everyone, because really every other CNY greeting/wish is redundant next to this one. Kinda like wishing for 'happiness' on your birthday before you blow out the candles.
And in Yitwen's words, the world came to a standstill. During CNY, bus services slow down and nothing's open which really sucks.
I traveled down to Justin's (the SMU guy) place today for a visit, and along the way past memory lane as he stays at Sennett Lane, East Coast Hill. A significant part of my childhood revolved around Stangee and Katong area and a horde of recollections flooded my memory which would've stayed forgotten in the deep recesses of my mind otherwise, as each passing coffeeshop along the road triggered nostalgic experiences one by one. I recall the run-down kopitiam where we used to have reunion dinners, which was actually already very luxurious when I was just a kid, and all of us little kids would run off to the nearby 7-11 (which, I presume, is gone because I couldn't spot it) to get self-service assorted candy in the plastic bag, and the other provision shop to get Tora Tora, that thing with the surprise toy inside.
There were other steel and concrete reminders as well, but they're only as fascinating as they matter to me on a personal level, so I guess I shall stop short of rattling on about it.
I must honestly say that my visit to Justin's was the visit I enjoyed the most thus far, even though I didn't do much there. If visiting is all about socialising and socialising is all about having a good time talking to people about things that matter or even make sense to begin with, then every relative's house visit has paled extremely in comparison to this. Beer, cards and guys who can share a wisecrack or two don't hurt either.
There was a 91.3FM deejay named Audrey at our table too and I thought she was quite interesting.
Left after an hour and went back to school to get my books home because the readings overdue were piling up to 150-odd pages, excluding political science. So yeah alarm bells are ringing there and tomorrow's the weekend already.
Today involved a lot of long bus rides and I really think these long bus rides are a huge medium for pensive energy. If I were to put a notepad and pen in every chair and anyone who had a decent thought - some inspiration, an emo moment, thoughtful reflection - was to write it down, I cannot imagine what we'd come up with. One day, I would just like to dedicate an entire day to traveling to nowhere on buses - board a bus I've never boarded before, drop at a place I've never been to, take the next bus that comes along - and after many next buses that come along see where I end up. I'd do this not least because it also reflects how carefree I am if I can dedicate so much time to such an act of frivolity.
I like it when my mind starts running off on its own and a whole train of thought develops itself without any conscious effort on my part to do so, and then I'll 'snap back' and see where the thought chain ends up. This peaked during the time between ORD and the starting of school around the most part of early last year, and I've found it increasingly hard to engage this nowadays, perhaps because studying in school can constrain thinking.
Had supper and more beer til 3am. This is what I'd call an enjoyable CNY day. 心想事成 to everyone, because really every other CNY greeting/wish is redundant next to this one. Kinda like wishing for 'happiness' on your birthday before you blow out the candles.
Friday, 8 February 2008
That Gaudy-Red Festival
It's gaudy-red time again!
Kickstarted CNY eve yesterday by helping out in the spring cleaning effort, but soon my dad's anal-ness made me go out earlier than I'd wanted to. With nowhere in mind, I aimlessly took 147 towards school and then met up Mikaela, the only familiar living soul I could encounter within the deserted premises.
It was like a ghost town with all the shops closed, so we headed down to Long John Silver's at Plaza Singapura for some bites and talked for a bit to while the time away.
I was told to be at Tanjong Pagar MRT by 6pm so when it was about 15mins to five I started embarking on a hike towards Tanjong Pagar from Dhoby Ghaut. Past the majestic Supreme Court edifice at City Hall and the tranquil river dividing Raffles Place from Boat Quay, I suddenly started losing my way and was determinedly trying to find directions from the Raffles Place MRT map when my mom SMSed to say that rendezvous has been delayed til 8pm; what a bummer.
So in all randomness, I took a train back to town and eventually went to Borders and read bits and pieces here and there from at least 10 good books ranging from Tony Blair's biography to consciousness philosophy to space-time-universe theory, reminding myself that bookstores are undoubtedly the best places to be to kill some time. Then I headed down for dinner proper.
Been sleeping way too little to be sociable (on top of being already naturally unsociable towards my relatives), so reunion dinner was yet another somewhat awkward affair with an annual dose of really bad food. We perhaps all know what constitutes to a satisfactory serving of food for me, so sharing dishes with that stipulated amount per table really doesn't cut it for me. And not forgetting that I hate mushrooms, sea cucumber, brinjal, etc etc. Someone remind me why this is supposed to be fantastic, because in my case neither 'reunion' nor 'dinner' went well.
Justin, my 25 year-old cousin, is what I'd really call the darling son in the family. He never fails to be the life of the party and it's not that he's an attention-seeking person or the things he says aren't funny or witty. The uncles all love to banter with him and that includes my dad too. I've always wondered what the outcome would be if Justin was his son. My dad and I can ever hardly talk, and it felt as if the both of them exchanged more words between them in those 2hrs than my dad and I had ever done in my lifetime so far.
That preceded the usual neighbourhood temple visit which I absolutely dread, because amongst other more obvious religious reasons, my eyes are extremely sensitive to the smoke. Yet another late night and early morning next, and a truckload of visiting which I effectively space out to deal with.
I'll skip the usual gripes I'd whine about. One of the interesting things I've noticed is that conversations, however few and awkward, are starting to gravitate towards the degree/girlfriend/job/studies side. It's the only thing I can seem to sustain a conversation about, and I'm always musing in the background of my mind while I conversate, "here we go again."
What made CNY day 1 a little more interesting was the visit to my nanny's when I was between 3-6 years old, whom I used to call Auntie Mama. Some fleeting memories returned, such as the porch and the long and narrow living room that made you sit really close to the TV. And since it had been almost 20 years since they last saw me (I never visited), I was given celebrity-status attention as they endlessly exclaimed, once past the shock, that I was unrecognisable/so tall/so dark/etc.
There was this guy, Freddie, who's the husband of this lady, Jane, who is my nanny's daughter and he's a managing director. So there was plenty of allusion towards that job standard (complete with 2 maids and a Merc) because he is now the man apparently. More job comparisons, more getting told that I've gotta achieve that kinda career level or better it.
When Kenny's dad (I prefer to refer to uncles this way) found out about my breakup and that it was due to religious issues, he went on this Buddhism preaching barrage and all that jazz about karma and got so excited and carried away that when Kenny tried to interrupt him to ask about something (important, I'd actually reckon), he just sharply snapped, "Shut up la! People talking!" and continued going on and on. Geez. But it was extremely amusing when it happened.
Went over to my mom's side of the family for more visits, and I guess the only stuff that were worth mentioning were the beer and my conversation with Suihar because it finally didn't feel like an obligatory chat.
Went to RK to supposedly celebrate Yap's birthday but the scrimpish prick was too stingy to give a treat. So ends day 1, and I doubt day 2 or another subsequent day for that matter will mean much to me. Even the red packets don't anymore - with the money, my dad'll just take a month off giving me allowance anyway so it'll sum up to be essentially the same. Sometimes I feel bad for them having to give out red packets (which is ridiculous I'll admit cos it's probably been already budgeted in their financial plans) so I did offer to give them my red packets so that they can give them out. 'Cos in all honesty, everything just eventually comes full circle in terms of such financial economics anyway (i.e. zero-sum game) and I don't quite need the guise of red-packet-giving to give me a false sense of happiness in that respect.
Haha okay sorry for being such a cynical prick but I've also gotta add that I didn't shop for anything at all this CNY, and my mom was really starting to worry that I'd end up wearing a pair of old 2nd-hand jeans that uncle William gave me (which isn't auspicious since it doesn't reflect on our propensity for wealth) so she ended up buying a striped red polo tee for me. I don't quite know the figures, but that definitely brings my tally of clothing owned but not bought by me to an all time high. I can't quite recall the last time I shopped, or even wanted to shop, for that matter.
I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried — but they wanted cash.
Today's Listenables:
Finger Eleven - Drag You Down
Kickstarted CNY eve yesterday by helping out in the spring cleaning effort, but soon my dad's anal-ness made me go out earlier than I'd wanted to. With nowhere in mind, I aimlessly took 147 towards school and then met up Mikaela, the only familiar living soul I could encounter within the deserted premises.
It was like a ghost town with all the shops closed, so we headed down to Long John Silver's at Plaza Singapura for some bites and talked for a bit to while the time away.
I was told to be at Tanjong Pagar MRT by 6pm so when it was about 15mins to five I started embarking on a hike towards Tanjong Pagar from Dhoby Ghaut. Past the majestic Supreme Court edifice at City Hall and the tranquil river dividing Raffles Place from Boat Quay, I suddenly started losing my way and was determinedly trying to find directions from the Raffles Place MRT map when my mom SMSed to say that rendezvous has been delayed til 8pm; what a bummer.
So in all randomness, I took a train back to town and eventually went to Borders and read bits and pieces here and there from at least 10 good books ranging from Tony Blair's biography to consciousness philosophy to space-time-universe theory, reminding myself that bookstores are undoubtedly the best places to be to kill some time. Then I headed down for dinner proper.
Been sleeping way too little to be sociable (on top of being already naturally unsociable towards my relatives), so reunion dinner was yet another somewhat awkward affair with an annual dose of really bad food. We perhaps all know what constitutes to a satisfactory serving of food for me, so sharing dishes with that stipulated amount per table really doesn't cut it for me. And not forgetting that I hate mushrooms, sea cucumber, brinjal, etc etc. Someone remind me why this is supposed to be fantastic, because in my case neither 'reunion' nor 'dinner' went well.
Justin, my 25 year-old cousin, is what I'd really call the darling son in the family. He never fails to be the life of the party and it's not that he's an attention-seeking person or the things he says aren't funny or witty. The uncles all love to banter with him and that includes my dad too. I've always wondered what the outcome would be if Justin was his son. My dad and I can ever hardly talk, and it felt as if the both of them exchanged more words between them in those 2hrs than my dad and I had ever done in my lifetime so far.
That preceded the usual neighbourhood temple visit which I absolutely dread, because amongst other more obvious religious reasons, my eyes are extremely sensitive to the smoke. Yet another late night and early morning next, and a truckload of visiting which I effectively space out to deal with.
I'll skip the usual gripes I'd whine about. One of the interesting things I've noticed is that conversations, however few and awkward, are starting to gravitate towards the degree/girlfriend/job/studies side. It's the only thing I can seem to sustain a conversation about, and I'm always musing in the background of my mind while I conversate, "here we go again."
What made CNY day 1 a little more interesting was the visit to my nanny's when I was between 3-6 years old, whom I used to call Auntie Mama. Some fleeting memories returned, such as the porch and the long and narrow living room that made you sit really close to the TV. And since it had been almost 20 years since they last saw me (I never visited), I was given celebrity-status attention as they endlessly exclaimed, once past the shock, that I was unrecognisable/so tall/so dark/etc.
There was this guy, Freddie, who's the husband of this lady, Jane, who is my nanny's daughter and he's a managing director. So there was plenty of allusion towards that job standard (complete with 2 maids and a Merc) because he is now the man apparently. More job comparisons, more getting told that I've gotta achieve that kinda career level or better it.
When Kenny's dad (I prefer to refer to uncles this way) found out about my breakup and that it was due to religious issues, he went on this Buddhism preaching barrage and all that jazz about karma and got so excited and carried away that when Kenny tried to interrupt him to ask about something (important, I'd actually reckon), he just sharply snapped, "Shut up la! People talking!" and continued going on and on. Geez. But it was extremely amusing when it happened.
Went over to my mom's side of the family for more visits, and I guess the only stuff that were worth mentioning were the beer and my conversation with Suihar because it finally didn't feel like an obligatory chat.
Went to RK to supposedly celebrate Yap's birthday but the scrimpish prick was too stingy to give a treat. So ends day 1, and I doubt day 2 or another subsequent day for that matter will mean much to me. Even the red packets don't anymore - with the money, my dad'll just take a month off giving me allowance anyway so it'll sum up to be essentially the same. Sometimes I feel bad for them having to give out red packets (which is ridiculous I'll admit cos it's probably been already budgeted in their financial plans) so I did offer to give them my red packets so that they can give them out. 'Cos in all honesty, everything just eventually comes full circle in terms of such financial economics anyway (i.e. zero-sum game) and I don't quite need the guise of red-packet-giving to give me a false sense of happiness in that respect.
Haha okay sorry for being such a cynical prick but I've also gotta add that I didn't shop for anything at all this CNY, and my mom was really starting to worry that I'd end up wearing a pair of old 2nd-hand jeans that uncle William gave me (which isn't auspicious since it doesn't reflect on our propensity for wealth) so she ended up buying a striped red polo tee for me. I don't quite know the figures, but that definitely brings my tally of clothing owned but not bought by me to an all time high. I can't quite recall the last time I shopped, or even wanted to shop, for that matter.
I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried — but they wanted cash.
Today's Listenables:
Finger Eleven - Drag You Down
Wednesday, 6 February 2008
Blah, Seriously
The efforts of last week's prep for today's political science presentation totally went down the drain. I guess Rahul Sagar was just being particularly utilitarian (in the literal sense, not the ideology you pol science freaks) with regards to this presentation thing. In a sense he wanted this presentation to be a means of the group 'teaching' the class and then raising the topic of debate which he will then address, and he will sum things up after.
But perhaps time has been a constraint, so he decided to open things up by lecturing a little first, then letting us present. The problem was that he touched on so many things that we were gonna present on and eventually perhaps got somewhat impatient that we were reiterating what he had said and told us to skip parts of the presentation. I think we skipped about 3/4 of what we were gonna present.
So our presentation just looked really terrible.
I'm not that bothered pertaining to the grades although I know the possibility of this being a flunked presentation; I'm just feeling really blah in an extremely unfulfilled way that we really had a lot to offer but couldn't because of something we weren't fairly prepared for. And it kinda sucks to know that Angie and Benita, who both wanna major in political science and thus would take huge pride in this for, might potentially have their grades compromised due to this really ridiculous misadventure.
And the efforts man. Also, I liked this chapter alot because for once it wasn't so much about stuff like parliamentary systems, but rather about rationality which is really within my philosophical capacity to deal with.
On the bright side of things, I can take a breather of sorts now that a major project from an absolutely gargantuan module has been done with.
Anyway, this is really a personal opinion but I think sociology with a little more effort put into it would simply be political science. Sociology is such a half-assed subject to me that it's just like political science without the conviction of coming to some conclusive ends.
Chinese New Year's comin' and usually my family would have a personal reunion dinner together the day before CNY eve. It's been quite awhile since I last had dinner at home, or even a meal for that matter, and I missed dinner today though I could've easily just have went home early. I came home to a really huge spread that had gone cold on the table so I felt bad and that kinda sucked on hindsight.
Sucks that the laptop will be back only after CNY too, and all the doubled homework from not having any lessons for the rest of the week.
Actually one of the reasons, or perhaps the fundamental reason that led on to other things, of why I ended up going home late today was because a smart-assed me went to raise the philosophical morality question about God to Benita after class, and we (including Isaac and Angie) ended up talking about it for a solid hour after everyone else had deserted the classroom. It led me to revisit my own beliefs which I haven't talked about for quite some time, and they are beliefs I used to talk about with much fervour before I mellowed down, for whatever reasons (the understanding that nothing can be conclusive anyway, or just simply realising that I can be too imposing perhaps). But I think it might be quite useful for me to formally address this so that I can solidify what I think, rather than being really g4y and telling people that what I believe in entails a long story and procrastinate only to say it in the end in a really half-assed manner 'cos I cannot grasp my rusty train of thought. So yeah, I'm dedicating a post to that.
After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.
Today's Listenables:
I Am Ghost - We Are Always Searching
But perhaps time has been a constraint, so he decided to open things up by lecturing a little first, then letting us present. The problem was that he touched on so many things that we were gonna present on and eventually perhaps got somewhat impatient that we were reiterating what he had said and told us to skip parts of the presentation. I think we skipped about 3/4 of what we were gonna present.
So our presentation just looked really terrible.
I'm not that bothered pertaining to the grades although I know the possibility of this being a flunked presentation; I'm just feeling really blah in an extremely unfulfilled way that we really had a lot to offer but couldn't because of something we weren't fairly prepared for. And it kinda sucks to know that Angie and Benita, who both wanna major in political science and thus would take huge pride in this for, might potentially have their grades compromised due to this really ridiculous misadventure.
And the efforts man. Also, I liked this chapter alot because for once it wasn't so much about stuff like parliamentary systems, but rather about rationality which is really within my philosophical capacity to deal with.
On the bright side of things, I can take a breather of sorts now that a major project from an absolutely gargantuan module has been done with.
Anyway, this is really a personal opinion but I think sociology with a little more effort put into it would simply be political science. Sociology is such a half-assed subject to me that it's just like political science without the conviction of coming to some conclusive ends.
Chinese New Year's comin' and usually my family would have a personal reunion dinner together the day before CNY eve. It's been quite awhile since I last had dinner at home, or even a meal for that matter, and I missed dinner today though I could've easily just have went home early. I came home to a really huge spread that had gone cold on the table so I felt bad and that kinda sucked on hindsight.
Sucks that the laptop will be back only after CNY too, and all the doubled homework from not having any lessons for the rest of the week.
Actually one of the reasons, or perhaps the fundamental reason that led on to other things, of why I ended up going home late today was because a smart-assed me went to raise the philosophical morality question about God to Benita after class, and we (including Isaac and Angie) ended up talking about it for a solid hour after everyone else had deserted the classroom. It led me to revisit my own beliefs which I haven't talked about for quite some time, and they are beliefs I used to talk about with much fervour before I mellowed down, for whatever reasons (the understanding that nothing can be conclusive anyway, or just simply realising that I can be too imposing perhaps). But I think it might be quite useful for me to formally address this so that I can solidify what I think, rather than being really g4y and telling people that what I believe in entails a long story and procrastinate only to say it in the end in a really half-assed manner 'cos I cannot grasp my rusty train of thought. So yeah, I'm dedicating a post to that.
After you've heard two eyewitness accounts of an automobile accident, you begin to worry about history.
Today's Listenables:
I Am Ghost - We Are Always Searching
Monday, 19 February 2007
I passed my driving test and I'm fucking happy. Period! No more instructor to contend with, no more money wasting, no more dragging my feet down to the driving centre because it's turned into a bloody sian routine where I spend 2hrs of my day to make myself feel turdy the rest of it, and now I can drive the way I want to, within safety limits of course. :)
That's a happy, sweet, sweet valentine's for me. And of course I dedicate it very much to Kee!! (Also cos I hadn't done much for valentines' day for her.. *sheepish)
The big annual reminder of what your relatives look like is here again and while some are genuinely looking forward to the festive reunions of Chinese New Year and others judging their visits by means of RP$ (ang pao currency, i.e. uncle X loses his visiting value after you have received red packet from said uncle), I'm not that excited about it at all and things really went by without a cinch, my family being done with the main body of visiting by 3pm today. Of which I'm pretty glad.
I treat the total sum of my red packets (which, at less than $100, isn't much anyway but I'm not saying that I'm complaining) as an annual bonus that would otherwise have come from my dad anyway; apologies for not being any more interesting about the whole joy of red packet receiving and I'm just gonna boringly deposit the cash into my bank after the 15th day (I'll stick to some degree of tradition about this one, albeit still in a modern context lol). I'd already done away with the festive shopping a month or so ago and that's that.
Doing this meet up of relatives once and for all for the rest of the year does have its silly, pointless joys no doubt, when you talk to uncles, aunties and the more approachable cousins and smart-aleck your way around inconsequential conversations and some of them, especially the uncles and aunties, really give you the look that says, "wow he's really grown up since that little cockster I'd known a decade ago." Because most of them have the impression stuck in their heads anyway that you were only 10 years old just every other 'last year'. Some people also ask why I don't wear spectacles anymore, when they've been asking the same question for the past 4 years.
And every year, it's almost ritualistic that they'll ask Kenny and I to stand side by side to compare heights. And I should prep this list of calling names to revise before meeting up because I can never remember all the ranks of my uncles and aunties and who's who.
Meeting Kee's family up was fun, though I'm still pretty hampered by the language factor between her folks and I but it's okay. It's interesting when your girlfriend's dad is a reknowned chinese artist who's met the likes of the government (I can't remember, president? Or prime minister or some people like that), the Singaporean UN ambassador and others and has his work featured regularly in newspapers and books. And his cooking's really zai.
Kee's sis has a new boyfriend too; name's Douglas and we had drinks and conversation going so it was quite a good meet up.
I'd like to visit friends though. In all honesty, that really holds more meaning to me than the relatives-visiting despite the whole obligatory concept of oh-you-have-to-do-this-cos-you-are-family-and-you-have-to-respect-some-people-and-the-new-year-tradition. I'm sure I might be labelled as a little unfilial or unfeeling towards those of close kin to me, or something along that line to a certain degree by some people but I'm just being frank.
A man gazing at the stars is at the mercy of every puddle on the road.- James!
Today's Listenables:
Hinder - Lips Of An Angel
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