Cosmic Truths

As always, reliably, time cures even the sickest of souls, and although I am fully anticipative, I can surprise myself with my own strength and will; and the pointer shifts to the cross without a moment's hesitation and the window vanishes into oblivion with a click laden with conviction.


Watched 10-man Manchester United trash West Ham 4-1. It was painful watching West Ham labourously struggle against a team with fewer players. Ronaldo is just insane, getting his goal tally to 40 in this game. He's a true blue fox in the box without even having to be a permanent fixture as a boxed striker. I swear he probably got so tired scoring with his left foot, right foot, back heel, head etc that he tried to use his dick to score the 2nd goal.

I started a 6hr Scrabble marathon back on the good ol' ISC server when I got home and, over 20-30 games, lost only twice and got my rating all the way up from 700+ to almost 1000. It stands at 929 as of now. It's about time to put myself where I wouldn't be considered underrated.


In one psychology experiment, a man had electrodes wired to his brain and mild currents were discharged to certain areas to trigger movement from him. Interestingly, it seemed that his awareness was entirely post hoc, i.e. he would commit an action and then justify it. For example, when an electrical wave was passed that caused him to bend down, he would say that he was actually bending down so that he could pick up his shoe, not because he felt stupid doing what he did but because he earnestly believed that it was an action he had wanted to do.

This somewhat implies that do we our everyday actions, and then reactively attempt to justify why we do what we do. This means that free will itself (not just awareness) could all simply be a big farce - that we aren't exactly the master of ourselves and our actions. This Plato's Cave, Brain-in-the-Vat derivative is consistent of sorts with the fact that we do have reaction time lags - there is a split second difference between our thinking and movement so they aren't exactly in sync.

This seems to support the scientific school of thought that everything is predestined, and has its roots in the dynamics of quantum physics, along the lines of creationist and Big Bang theory and how its incidence is too coincidental (or minimally probable) to be an accidental occurrence, i.e. there was some form of predestiny assigned to everything by some kind of 'higher power'.

If that 'higher power' were personified, for example, to be a Christian God, then it terribly contradicts with the goodwill virtues of Christianity's idea of free will presented to all persons (the rhetoric that you have a choice to be saved - you will be saved if you want to be saved, blah blah). If we consider this 'higher power' to be a neutral force, then things could be a whole lot less complicated.


When I was at Borders the other day, I recalled a couple of books I'd read halfway the last time I was there (which was Chinese New Year's Eve) so I found them and continued where I left off. Astromony and physics and other collateral subjects have always fascinated me immensely.

It is said that the 'word of God' is in the cosmos. When you consider the story (or theory) of the birth of the Universe and Earth and life as we know it, the indirect work of whatever engineers everything can suddenly seem so clear. The less coincidental, more intended Big Bang aside, we can see how it can be most enticing to think of whoever or whatever made life possible as a man of God-like status by retelling the story of life.

It has been theorized that another heavenly body collided into Earth, causing shattered debris to form the moon which acts as a very important stabilising factor that ensures that the Earth spins at a specific angle. This specific angle enables the Earth to have a consistent climate and environmental stability. When these vital factors are sustainable and a balance is in place, atoms and molecules can then form complex compounds that begin to gain the ability to replicate. Some continue reproducing while others have errors in the copying process. A competition for survival then ensues, as organisms devise and submit blueprints for what they perceive as the ultimate survival plan, program, or machine.

I can almost picture someone, if I were to personify this 'higher power' as a manly person, peering at Earth and thinking, "yes, this is the one," and ordering a asteroid to be flung at it so that a moon can be created to create the motions of the oceans that would breathe life into a barren piece of huge cosmo rock. And maybe he has tried to do that to Mars, but the plan failed for some reason, and all we have on that planet is a small patch of ice.

The uncovering of the many natural mechanisms that are in place that allow things to happen the way they have is like having the secret of anything at all that matters whispered proudly into our keen yet naive ears.

Yes, it is indeed enticing to personify and anthropomorphize simply because we humans are a sentimental lot.


In about 14 hours I will be on a coach to Kuala Lumpur til next Friday, so tschuss for now!


What does this all mean? If it can come to this, then my heart, deadened by the mind, has no part to play, and perhaps we can justifiably say that untrustworthy emotions are the purest of illusions.




Philosophy is a game with objectives and no rules. Mathematics is a game with rules and no objectives.

Audio Candy:
Pensive - Live Fast

I've been going to school every frickin' day since FTB ended. If it's not some official school activity, then it's using school as one of the coolest and most inexpensive places you can just head to in town to sit around. I can't see why people find this disturbing - the rationale is simple: anywhere else and you'd have to pay $5+ for chill out space; campus is totally free and if you even want board games, Mr Tea has drinks at less than $2 and are much nicer than many other places! And I haven't mentioned the selection range.

So as it were, I kickstarted this week by meeting Kee. I think we're good now, and it's really much better off this way for the both of us. I'm still having my fair share of friends who can't seem to comprehend why this is so, and I must admit that my very rational approach to this matter sounds more than cold considering the 3-year relationship we've been through, but it's not like we're not talking anymore. We've kinda transcended the boyfriend-girlfriend part into something else, and perhaps we were just meant to be that way. And it's not like its awkward when we hang out or anything. The laughs and great company - it's all still there, minus the romance.

So we watched The Simpsons, and I won't bother talking about the movie other than stating that I enjoyed it. I'm here to blog, not to report. Hah! Okay lousy I know.

So Kee and I talked about stuff, and well you lose some and gain some when stuff like this happens. There were things I wouldn't have said in the past that I'd tell her about now. But that's quite duh la.

Yinyin and Jianming moved into hostel on tuesday so I went over to check out the bunking area and it's pretty decent I'd say. For either $1.7k for a double room (shared with someone else) or $2.2k for a single room, you get lodging near school and in town which really rocks. Next time I have overnighters to pull, I'll bunk in with them.

Had fun showing Yinyin, who's a Malaysian, around town and playing Scrabble. Jianming joined us a little later and they accompanied me for the Samba Masala audition/interview, which went pretty well. Thankfully I was allocated an earlier timing, as the event snowballed and got pushed back quite late.

After that, Leonard and Jacq joined us to have supper and goof around Clarke Quay taking crap photos. It can be mildly therapeutic but guys like me have enough of it really quickly haha.

Today, wednesday, there was StarringSMU which is turning out to be a very frickin' lame CSP. We had to do this amazing race thingie (which is really blowing a hole in my wallet for transport alone) and eventually got pissed at the locations we had to go to so we did like 2 or 3 stations and then headed back to Cathay to bum while waiting for the cut-off timing to come.

I then met Qinhong and we played more Scrabble. Got a little too engrossed in the game that I missed the ending off for the day, and then he and I went to some GSR to practice some dance moves. I think I'm getting the whole handstand freeze business, though I'm still barely there yet.

Just so you should know, I've been shortlisted for the 'talent' thing during Convocation to do breakdancing and juggling, cos bloody Joel sabo-ed me. Gah.

So it's basically 1-2ams home each day recently. Tomorrow I'm skipping the StarringSMU NDP thing to go for frisbee. There's floorball, handball, softball and many other things coming up, but I'm kinda liking it this way for the time being. It's the people I'm meeting who're making this a very interesting time.




On the other hand, you have different fingers.

Today's Listenables:
Within Temptation - Final Destination