Thursday, 27 September 2007

The Pain Of Being Unburdened

All the talking with friends new and old have generated lotsa interesting topics of discussion but it's a pity I won't ever get to put them all here. Amongst them, you have girl-favourite topics like 'friends and potentials' and how you define them and stuff, but that's so yesterday and I'm lazy to go the whole hog all over again.

An interesting topic that was raised though was on the unbearable lightness of being. As it were, humans are an emotional species that live to be burdened and it is such that you as a human will continue to revisit those moments of unhappiness, sometimes even consciously in doing so, or so this theory attempts to say. This is because having nothing to worry about and to be unburdened makes life weightless and this weightlessness makes life insignificant in some ways, making it unbearable.

Which ties in with some concepts that Fight Club raised. If you are God's middle children - the ones likely to be forgotten - would you prefer hell or nothing? It is easy to choose an answer that goes "anything is better than hell" because of your pre-conceived Christian notions of hell but if you consider that nothing means that God has 'forgotten' you (in this case God never forgets since he is all knowing, so he has chosen to forget, or perhaps forsake), would you rather die to be addressed and punished or live a life where your God has been oblivious to you?

I might revise this post because I am too tired to type coherently now.

If it weren't for marriage, men and women would have to fight with total strangers.

Today's Listenables:
Further Seems Forever - New Year's Project

There are a couple of markers that indicate how free I am, one of which is my intensity of Scrabble playing, and another being able to blog. School has been absolutely crazy, not to mention sub-editing work always being a niggling pain at the back.

Anyhow, LTB is this module which stands for Leadership and Teambuilding that we've gotta do as a compulsory first year mod. It entails designing a community service project and then executing it. We're working with Seventeen magazine and Children At Risk Empowerment, and it's a really jumpy project cos it's real time stuff we're dealing with here.

Things have been going smooth my way (I say this because things seem to not be going smooth for anybody else) other than for two... hiccups. One was when I was conversing with this damn elite RJC girl and I'd meant to say "neighbourhood JCs FTW" after I said I was from NYJC and I think I kinda said it in a rather subdued manner, so I suppose she thought I was being self conscious and afterward went on to do her mock "aiya its seriously okay" thing. And for some gay reason I got affected by it cos in a pygmalion effect way of looking at it, I suddenly felt that I seemed inferior (i.e. in manner of behavior) to her.

The other moment was on tuesday when serious crunch time culminated into my stats homework not being done yet and sociology midterms being on wednesday, for which I haven't studied, and I had to tend to CARE and later go for samba til very very late. For once I really felt I needed to deal with something badly but the circumstances simply couldn't let me, and it's like... I was being impeded from doing the things I wanted/needed to do, ironically because the things I want to do and I'm actually doing are stopping me from doing those other things I need to do.

Enough of school and shite. I've always wanted to talk about other stuff on my posts but I don't ever seem to be able to do so in recent times.

It's bad luck to be superstitious.

Today's Listenables:
Sick Puppies - My World

Monday, 10 September 2007

Let's Go

I'd meant to update for the longest time but lately school's been really busy and I've been getting a little addicted to Wordbiz, which is basically online Scrabble. I think I can safely say that I spent at least 10hrs playing Wordbiz over the weekend, whether I'm at home or with my laptop in school, which kinda sucks.

On school, It's 4th week already and work's been piling up. Creeps up and then strikes like a silent hammer. Stats really sucks. I think over the course of post-JC and NS I developed a very unmathematical mind such that I'm a little resistant to stats knowledge now; it's like I'm worse off now than I was in JC.

Psychology and sociology classes have been really good so far, except that the lessons all seem a bit too vague. I'm afraid the silent hammer strike might occur for the exams.

LTB is the really irritating module where we have to design a community service project and carry it out. It's not the hours per se that we have to put in that really screws things up - it's just that shit pops up all over the place and quite unexpectedly too. I'm just thankful I've got pretty swell groupmates that make this such a less painful process. I've heard stories from friends about their groups which paint such bleak pictures.

On girls, 1988 basically is a population boom and with the guys all in green and shipped off to a foreign island, you have a lot of the other half - girls. For some reason I find that 1988 girls tend to be somewhat uptight (some post-NS guys have this trait too), competitive and naive. Considering the extremely high cut-off grades that SMU can afford now to impose on its entry, you get a lot of girls who have straight As but have no idea what they wanna do in life; i.e. basically just theory people. Whenever I engage in initial conversation with any of them, I have to put in some conscious effort to give them the benefit of the doubt. Unsurprisingly, many have complained about the SMU pedagogy (involving more emphasis on class participation and projects), which I am really fine with since exams have always been a huge threat to me. If you don't like it, harshly speaking you have chosen the wrong school.

As for the ladies from my 1986 batch, I've seen some around - Chris, Jayne, Michelle and Elizabeth - but they've all seemed to have moved on with their own studies and social circles for 2 years since we were shipped off to some foreign island.

As for the guys, it's on one hand just like one great big reunion and on the other, finding out how interconnected and small Singapore is.

Pre-uni fun lasted while it could which, I think, ended with the freshman bash over a week ago. I had to bunk in at Jianming's at 4am and then go for management comms lesson at 0830h. Others slept around the steps outside school I've heard. Richard didn't even make it to class haha.

Off to stats class wheeee.

Vacation begins when dad says, "I know a short cut!"

Today's Listenables:
Soul Asylum - Runaway Train