Wednesday, 29 October 2008

Just Off The Key Of Reason

Growin' up, you don't see the writing on the wall
Passin' by, movin' straight ahead, you knew it all
But maybe sometime if you feel the pain
You'll find you're all alone, everything has changed

Play the game, you know you can't quit until it's won
Soldier on, only you can do what must be done
You know in some way you're a lot like me
You're just a prisoner and you're tryin' to break free

I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky
I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire

Burning up, don't know just how far that I can go (just how far I go)
Soon be home, only just a few miles down the road
I can make it, I know I can
You broke the boy in me, but you won't break the man

I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky
I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire

I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo's Fire burnin' in me, burnin' in me

Just once in his life a man has his time, and my time is now, I'm coming alive

I can hear the music playin', I can see the banners fly
Feel like you're back again, and hope ridin' high
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire

I can see a new horizon underneath the blazin' sky
I'll be where the eagle's flying higher and higher
Gonna be your man in motion, all I need is a pair of wheels
Take me where my future's lyin', St. Elmo's Fire

I can climb the highest mountain, cross the wildest sea
I can feel St. Elmo's Fire burnin' in me

Burnin', burnin' in me, I can feel it burnin'
Oooh, burnin' inside of me...

This is one of the most outrightly inspirational and motivational songs I've heard in awhile by virtue of its message and the way it's sung. I can't get it outta my head. Maybe at this point where I'm so lazy I couldn't catch a cold if I were in Antarctica, such a song would be bursting at the seams with vehemence and vitality.

After a quick round of research, I realised that the song was written about Rick Hansen, a Canadian who suffered a terrible accident and was rendered paralyzed from the waist down, and who has 'wheeled' himself all over the world (over 40,000km) to raise money and awareness for spinal chord injuries. The song was written two years after Rick's Man In Motion tour began in 1985.

A snippet of trivia: St. Elmo's Fire is a weather effect usually witnessed as a nimbus of light around the mastheads of sailing ships, traditionally taken as the Saint watching over your ship.

Today went rather well like a surprise oasis in a desert of a term so far with regards to school, which wouldn't have been much to mention about if not for how drearily unfascinating things can be. Sometimes, I guess I really don't mind boring classes. It's just the waiting til the holidays I have a problem with.

But it was a peach of a day with our social psychology presentation going well (save for Jacq's incessant amusement at my expense), and finding that Capoeira as a CCA in SMU is really blossoming into bud. It really has a life of its own now with about 20 members interacting like family, and just merely a few months ago we were languishing in stagnant waters with only 5 members and it seemed like Capoeira SMU was never to be. It's just really heartwarming to see everyone singing the songs enthusiastically, wanting to go into the roda to play even as beginners who still look like wayang dancers and staying back after class to experiment and learn new 'cool' moves. Drive underlies this vigour, and I know Capoeira SMU will go far.

And it's somewhat funny how I'm thinking of it this way because it's not like any one of these events would really have been anything amazing to celebrate about. It's just that it's somewhat symbolic - the social psychology presentation marking the point of more than half the term conquered and Capoeira being the triumph of a plan set in motion. Maybe it's so simple it's confounding.

She makes me wanna do things just because.

Audio Candy:
John Parr - St Elmo's Fire

Friday, 24 October 2008


Your unmistakeable loud hailer voice from a mile away.

How you were the unapologetically dirtiest player on the pitch, which made us want to pole or taupok you more, which we did.

I called you Hulk Hogan for the countless number of times you ripped our shirts playing soccer like a dirty Mat.

Your unceasing Mat Vs Singh wars with A, and I'd always end up taking his side because you always got funnier when increasingly agitated which made the whole situation so much more entertaining.

The time you fell in love with K and codenamed her TA for 'tight ass'.

The stupid malay codewords we learnt from you that became an integral part of our daily cryptic communications.

Your calling Jim a Goblok one day because he was at it again with another one of his retarded antics, and it seriously became his name to us for the next 2 years at least.

How you and B became the gayest of buddies because there were only 3 guys in your class and the other guy wasn't so much of a guy anyway.

Even more gay when you and B became the rock of our JC team's defence in centre back.

When you got booked for running onto the pitch despite only being a substitute and taking off your shirt to celebrate after TK scored our 2nd goal during the 'A' Divisions, even though we were already out of the tournament.

All the hide and seek sessions we had with Mdm Lai in the library just because we wanted the air con without following the rules.

How we froze outside the library when Mdm Lai walked past and EF decided to run and accidentally dashed straight into the female toilet and had to sheepishly re-emerge and apologise to her.

The time B spread that you allegedly got sexually excited when Ms Nim did something totally unexciting to you, can't recall what exactly.

Your locking us out of your own house at 11pm when no locksmiths are available.

Our first-time clubbing experience the night before soccer camp, and you and EF decided to go to a nearby hotel instead and disturb its residents by pressing the doorbells and running away.

The time we went for flag day together and pasted the stickers all over the place around PS.

How we got into deep shit for that because some member of the public complained and it was announced the next day during assembly, and none of us wanted to admit it and started blaming each other.

When a boy and girl were on stage during assembly for being caught for breaking some rules, of which included smoking and probably some hanky panky, and you went "she smoked his what?!" freaking loudly and everyone turned to look at us.

How you appeared on TV for representing our JC's malay debate team, and after that we never gave you a break for your 'debating prowess'.

In fact, we even believed you could set a guilty man free because of the way you argue, which is an electrifying mix of humour, style, confusion and bullshit.

Our countless debates and arguments over the stupidest things just for the sake of it.

Your endless self-allusions to Islam and being holy and our eveready "YEAH RIGHT" to that.

The hard disk of porn smuggling between you and A.

Finding a pack of cigarettes in your bag, and your adamant denial that they're yours.

Bubble tea sessions after soccer, and how you'd NEVER ever buy your own and instead arm yourself with a personal straw so that you can leech off ours.

Same goes for McDonald's food.

How we always try and get you to treat us just because you simply refuse to do so.

How you always try and get a free lunch off us, being quick to jump on any birthday celebrations and demanding that the birthday dude give a treat.

Finally getting your motorbike license, and becoming a biker Mat with your infamous Phantom.

B went overseas, A became your new gay buddy, especially since he also got a motorbike license and became a phantom biker Singh, and the both of you kept making really happy trips across the causeway.

Finding that Singh's Phantom has a nice eagle design on the wheel cover, while yours had a pile of bird shit there instead one day after soccer.

The hamstring tear which had to put a stop to soccer for you, and your participation in our weekend soccer games, which hasn't resumed til date.

How I bunked in with you for 3 days at NUS when I needed to get away to study before my finals in year 1, and you insisted that we could share the same bed even though you lived in a frikkin tiny single room hostel.

How we talked about gender dynamics and you'd always say the most off things.

Your lamenting that being a joker type of person simply doesn't get the girls because they don't take you seriously, and how I didn't really know how to give an answer to that.

You just gave me a feeling I haven't felt for a long time even though I haven't seen you for the longest time either, and I just had to write it down.

No woman ever falls in love with a man unless she has a better opinion of him than he deserves.
- Ed Howe

Audio Candy:
Dishwalla - Collide

Wednesday, 22 October 2008

9 Crimes

9 Things Wong Kar Wai Taught Me About Love
by Alice Dallow
  1. Requited love is an impossibility.
  2. We love what we can't have, and we can't have what we love.
  3. Eroticizing their possessions will be the pinnacle of your sexual fulfillment.
  4. Anything that distracts you from the pain of your loss is good. Some people are more successful in this regard than others.
  5. Hook up with someone. Live with them. Sleep with them. Tag along. Don't be fooled. You are only a transitory distraction. Ask for commitment. Declare your love. Watch the set up evaporate.
  6. The most potent way to exist is to occupy someone else's imagination.
  7. Desire is kept eternally alive by the impossibility of contact.
  8. Modern communication enabling technologies will only heighten your sense of desolation by making you more keenly aware of the fact that no one is trying to call.
  9. You will fall in love only once. Obstacles will prevail. The rest of your life is spent recovering.

I find such open cynicism fascinating. Sometimes, people want so much to feel such that hurt becomes a viable option. It is often the easier way out anyway in terms of a mish mash of resignation and chance. Heartbreak can be a selfish yet fair longing for the ones who have forgotten what it means to be remembered.

What does Kodak have in common with condoms? They both capture the moment.

Audio Candy:
Jon McLoughlin - So Close

Thursday, 16 October 2008

We Are Here To Take The Blame

Here come the local pubescent proles. The future plumbers, shop assistants, and doubtless the odd terrorist too. In the old days, we confiscated cigarettes and wank mags. Now it's knives and crack cocaine. And they call it progress.
- Barbara Covett

Structure has an expiry date, after which allowing its prevalence can be likened to an immorality, as if once past its sell-by date structure only exists to be dissolved. The moral codes that undergird it can remain, but as a people we cannot stagnate in whatever comfort zone the presence of a structure provides. Change shows us comparatively how much better or worse things can be, and opens up dimensions and paradigms we would be otherwise blind to. There is potentially far too much to lose, pitifully, if we seek fulfilment in the act of closing off opportunities and not yearning to make a difference.

I'd reckon we're all realists with varying degrees of idealism in us. We're all realists because idealists die off as outliers and anomalies of society, while we're the ones who've survived so far - realists in social reproduction. But the idealists who do not die live for the revolution, after which they become realists within the new ideology formed (make no mistake, a realist now may not be a realist in another time and place - we are defined by the system we uphold or sucker-up to). As time goes by and we languish in structure and conformity, the more the idealism in us diminishes. It is imperative to keep the fire of idealism alive no matter how frail it can be.

It takes courage to recognise the real as opposed to the convenient.

Audio Candy:
Damien Rice - Volcano

Saturday, 11 October 2008

Buses And Sink-Holes

Looking past the glint of the squares
And the iron bars that seem to be keeping me in;
I was told they were meant to protect me
While the manicured greenery speeds away
There are nothing but blank stares back
As another escape becomes fearfully squandered
Only because they do not understand
A contented prisoner of the mind
By dint of pure will I'd tell you a story
I'd give you a lie and I might sing you a tune
You might think me a friend on this lonely commute
Another lamp, another house, reaching?
It can't be better out there, I've been there
With an ounce, an inch, or maybe miles, it doesn't matter
It must've been furtively taken
For I do not know and cannot remember
But only that it's safe in the depths of despair
Curled up in this serenely addictive ride to nowhere

Audio Candy:
3 Days Grace - Never Too Late

Monday, 6 October 2008

Birthright Of Freedom

I gave the birthright of freedom only in trust,
and you are squandering it away on a luxury called expediency.
I stood in the snow without shoes to give you the right to vote,
and you stay home on election day whenever the weather is bad.
I left my family destitute so that you could have freedom of speech,
and you remain silent because it might be bad for business.
And, finally, I orphaned my children to give you a government to serve you,
and through neglect you are permitting it to become masters of your children.

- Anonymous

Loved this vid; it may seem only relevant for Americans now, but its implications are far-reaching and its message is clear for anybody who's a citizen. Yeh seriously, don't vote if you do not care.

Audio Candy:
Stars - Soft Revolution

Friday, 3 October 2008

When The Adventure Began

I found an IRC conversation that Cheng and I had nearly 7 years ago (we were like 15 or 16?) when we took our baby steps into the tumultous foray of religion and philosophy.

[23:56] {fartyjohn} so anyway its basically u cant go to chuch with an open mind
[23:56] {fartyjohn} cos u observe life for like wat? 17 yrs and u come up with your own theory and all that as to how shit works
[23:57] {fartyjohn} and they want u to throw that away for that 2 hours
[23:57] {fartyjohn} remmer the sunglasses analogy?
[23:57] {fartyjohn} your beliefs are like the sunglasses u see things through
[23:57] {fartyjohn} arggh..i forgot la
[23:58] {fartyjohn} so u built your glasses over 17 yrs
[23:58] {fartyjohn} and thy want u to like take it off?
[23:58] {fartyjohn} screw thm
[23:58] {fartyjohn} and everytime u dont belief they just say 'u're not takingit with an open mind'
[00:00] {fartyjohn} so anyway
[00:01] {fartyjohn} nature made everything. nature wants shit to go on
[00:01] {fartyjohn} nature wants life to go on forever.
[00:01] {fartyjohn} if u made something, u'd like it to last forever dont you?
[00:01] {fartyjohn} so the only way, is to make shit imperfect
[00:01] {fartyjohn} and we'dd all strive for perfection that dont exist
[00:01] {fartyjohn} like a looping rpg game.
[00:02] {fartyjohn} but thats not the point
[00:02] {fartyjohn} actlly thats the point
[00:02] {fartyjohn} its a depressing thought
[00:02] {fartyjohn} it takes the meaning out of life
[00:03] {fartyjohn} suddenly the puppets(us) in natures work, all decide that life has no meanin
[00:03] {fartyjohn} so we all commit suiccide
[00:03] {fartyjohn} nature don't want that to happen
[00:03] {fartyjohn} so in our minds, its a self defense mechanism
[00:03] {fartyjohn} its religion
[00:04] {fartyjohn} when the brain develops to such an extent of intelligence..that it starts to question life(humans), the device kicks in and introduces the concept of..
[00:04] {fartyjohn} religion and afterlife
[00:04] {fartyjohn} to keep people interested in the looping rpg game.
[00:04] {fartyjohn} to keep pple thinking theres meaning in life when there isnt
[00:05] {fartyjohn} so basically we'll survive
[00:05] {fartyjohn} a nd if u put natural selection into this, it makes sense
[00:05] {fartyjohn} those that find no meanin would've died..those who belief theres meaning live on
[00:06] {fartyjohn} and because of that, we're brainwashed to think that if u belief there's meaning, u survive, u're strong
[00:06] {fartyjohn} and those that die out are weak
[00:06] {fartyjohn} when..they just lost human motivation.
[00:07] {jose} actually
[00:07] {fartyjohn} i came up with this a while back, 'theres jusst 2 kinds of things, things that work, and things that die out'
[00:07] {jose} that just seriously sounded like a damn good movie plot
[00:07] {fartyjohn} its the matrix yo
[00:07] {fartyjohn} fighting against the system
[00:07] {jose} yea its about the system.
[00:07] {jose} and i cant believe we talked about all that
[00:08] {fartyjohn} no actlly i added alotta shit in this time round
[00:08] {fartyjohn} and its not a good fucking thought!

Audio Candy:
Frankie J - Don't Wanna Try