Thursday, 21 February 2008

Random Bickering

This is gonna sound angsty, but I'm not, honest. :]

I've been told I'm lucky countless times. The most salient reason for that now resides in the fact that I'm done with my midterms much earlier than most others. I'm told I'm lucky that I only have a 3-day week, CT in the first part of the term, that I'm a guy, that I have a desirable metabolic rate so I'll always stay skinny etc.

In fact, I got a lot of this during my army unit days, because my carefully thought-out actions led to a rather smooth-sailing journey.

I guess I won't deny the obvious - I do seem much more well-off than most others, but I must say that these are all things I've never desperately hoped for. Actually, I didn't ask for any of this either. In some profound way of thinking about it, I reckon that the more you despairingly desire for something the more it will seem to elude you because your high hopes then fall resoundingly flat whenever you don't get the right end of the bargain. As always, we take for granted what we own and lament and long for the things we don't have, so to many people it seems like they've got the short end of the stick.

In some way or other, perhaps I simply seem luckier because I have less to complain about than most other people do. You may say that's true only because indeed the grass is greener on my side, but hold on a second; the grass is only greener as you perceive it to be - I could blacken this whole scenery by being a real bitch myself but I just simply won't.

Of course, I'm not complaining about the stuff I'm blessed with. But at the same time, I don't lament that you're smarter or richer than me, or that you've got a closer-knit family than I do. When I was barraged with stats, psychology, sociology, LTB and a 5-day week last term, I hardly ever grumbled about it unless someone else compelled me to. And on the flipside, I was never desperate to be a consistent IPPT gold-getter. I never asked to be 180cm tall. I was never dying for the midterms to be over. I could have 10 more midterms than anybody else and still I wouldn't bitch about you being luckier than me the way everyone else seems to do. Maybe it isn't easy being as optimistic as I am, but I guess anyone can take it from me that the more you don't give a shit, the less turdy you'll feel about life. I'm only just peeved at the endless trivial you're-so-luckys I always get for just being myself.

On another issue, sometimes I really wonder how I'd gotten myself entangled in your mess.

And in yet more unrelated things, I guess I'm a real asshole sometimes in relative sense to what is expected of proper social behaviour. But I don't really care I suppose; less modest but more honest, as I always believe.

I'm really not being angsty here haha.

Never attribute to malice that which can be adequately explained by stupidity.

Audio Candy:
Saosin - Sleepers

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