Tuesday, 8 April 2008


And I realised I had stared far too long when an abrupt, electric snap of chemistry signalled that our eyes met for more than just a brief moment, and I found myself desperately scrambling to look away. But I do not regret the awkwardness. There was an honest air of curiosity about the way she looked, with a fleeting delicateness and fragility amidst her relatively tall physique that was contributed nonetheless by her almost pale fair skin and a voice that had a somewhat shaky undertone to it, although she tries to hide all of this with an upright stature that spoke of an ironic confidence. She is not without flaw, but which makes her all the more immaculate and at once suddenly alluring. I am then reminded of how we can never truly suppress what resides within with what we hold dear as truths; things we'd like to think we are made of, all within that brief flurry of frivolous captivation.

Because I totally have no computer so work with anymore now (other than the ones in the school library with absolutely horrid internet connectivity), I have reverted to more traditional forms of entertainment, such as watching TV and reading. Actually, ‘reverted’ doesn’t give credit where it’s due. I kinda think that if you can get off the computer in this day and age and read a proper book, it’s really quite a wonderful form of trascendence, rising above past the glut of cyberspace over-reliance.

And I ended up conversing more with people the past few nights via SMS without the convenience of MSN. It’s kinda like road safety perhaps. Because of the high amount of traffic rules and road regulations, people take safety for granted and drive more recklessly as a result. The name of the paradox escapes me now, but it’s the idea that the more insured we are, the more likely we’ll end up in an accident.

I also started reading, to my detriment, The Picture of Dorian Gray that Angie gave me a few months back. Seriously not the best of times to get hooked on a novel - albeit a short one - but it is such a brilliant book that I cannot help but stay engrossed. I’ll give my take when I’m done.

Sometimes I even find myself puzzling, so I don’t blame my friends for being bemused with the things I do. I detest institutions, knowingly or not, and am clear of myself to this end of self-awareness. And always on hindsight I am proven right this way. My natural tendency to refuse to study where studying should be – in GSRs, libraries, at home – and instead mugging out in the open where noise and distraction is abound is one. My personal need for a great deal of egocentricity in a world of social dictates is but another. I’d dance my heart out on a tightrope in living out my whims a day before my exams, and it wouldn’t skip a beat. But this life-sized paradox is the way I see life as I think it should be, and am quite amused by the disapproving bewilderment I am confronted with on occasion.

Some of the world's greatest feats were accomplished by people not smart enough to know they were impossible.

Audio Candy:
The Hush Sound - Wine Red

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